Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
