ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
