you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
