I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
