This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
