Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
