Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
