He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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