im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
