HIV tests are more positive than that guy
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
