The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
