The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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