WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
