i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
