when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
