i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
