I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
