The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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