There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
These tits shall not be calmed
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
