Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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