You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
