I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
