suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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