your thong is hanging out like whoa
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
