When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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