Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm passing your future prison.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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