my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize