they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
