either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
