We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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