I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
