I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
