and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
