after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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