nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
