i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
