Christians are straight up FREAKS
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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