dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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