So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
