I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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