I'm going to jail i love you
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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