The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
