At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
