people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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