I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
