I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
