is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
