whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
