I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
