I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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