if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
